You come into this world expecting nothing.
A small human being full of love, kindness, acceptance, and understanding. You’re first experience is horrible. You’re covered in blood; a blast of icy cold air, loud noises, large things, and everything unknown seem to attack you. You cry.
For the first part of your life all you do is cry. You cry, eat, and… go to the bathroom. Then you start to crawl, and walk, and run. You begin to dress yourself, finding that style that fits you just right. You find that food that makes you salivate every time you think of it. You find that song that makes you just want to bust out screaming in excitement every time it comes on the radio. You find your favorite boy band or supermodel. You find that book that you just can’t seem to put down and end up losing two night’s sleep over it. You find who you are. Then you look for friends, people who you go out with and just have fun with no plans. You
look for that best friend who you call family, who you can tell all of your locked-diary secrets to. You look for that special someone who, at first sight, you know that you can spend the rest of your life with them. You look for that one job that doesn’t even feel like a job because it’s what you love. Then you make money. You make love. You make a family. Then you die.
That’s life. I know you weren’t expecting this, but it’s fact. You do, you find, you look, you make, you die.
Family traditions are forced onto the upcoming children generation after generation. One thing all parents want their children to share with them is religion. Depending upon the area, you will get a different ratio to what other common religions may be. In the Middle East, it’s Islam.
I’m from America, born and raised in the Northwest. My ancestors are from all over Europe with different branches of religion. One thing they all had in common, they were Christian. Now, I don’t mean “pray to God when you break your iPhone 5” Christian. I mean, “make a crazy person shrine to God in the middle of every room and put a cross on every wall” Christian. That means I was baptized as a baby. I won’t say my given name as a child, but I will tell you it means follower of Christ. I ended up not living with my biological parents anymore when I was little, but I was given new parents with my half-sister and her brother by my side, leaving my other half-brother alone with an aunt and her daughter.
This new home was a lot bigger, but luckily the new parents weren’t “crazy person” Christian. Though, they were still heavy advocates for Christianity. So was the rest of the area, and I mean heavy. The house was even next to a retired church. Within a four square mile area, there were sixteen churches. All of which were Catholic, Mormon, Baptist, Lutheran, Presbyterian, and every other branch of Christianity you can think of. My sister and brother went to Youth Group at the nearest one which was a block away. When I got older I decided to go a couple miles away. I admit, it was for a guy, but I truly was interested in learning more about God. I ended up not going anymore because it just didn’t make any sense to me. I didn’t understand the logic in what they were saying. I couldn’t seem to “connect the dots”.
I was told that Jesus is the son of God, and that he is the lord.
Then they said that God is the lord. Does that make Jesus God? And then they said that God is the father and Jesus is the son; and that the father, son, and Holy Spirit aren’t separate people. They’re one. So I ask, who’s the Holy Spirit? They said that the Holy Spirit isn’t anyone. So what is God’s
name? He doesn’t have a name, he isn’t a person. But Jesus is a person. Yes. And Jesus, God, and the Holy Spirit are one; right? Yes. So that means Jesus is God and the holy spirit. No. But they are one. Yes. Okay, that was delusional….. Then I ask, how did Jesus heal people and perform miracles? Through God. How did he do that? He didn’t, God did. But God isn’t a person. Exactly. So, I changed my standpoint and asked, how did God create everything? He just did. He just did? Yes.
I was getting so frustrated with the contradictory answers that I finally gave up and asked: Why did God create everything? And I got no answer at all. The previous answers went against each other and were completely confusing. I finally got silence. Eventually they said, I don’t know. That was the moment I walked out of the church and said I will never believe in anything.